There’s a little gem out there in the movie-verse called “Keeping The Faith” (released April of 2000 starring Jenna Elfman, Ben Stiller, and Edward Norton). It’s about three friends – a Catholic Priest, a Jewish Rabbi, and a strong, independent, beautiful woman making it big in the corporate world. And although they sound like the butt of a joke, they are in fact good friends with a lot in common.
(If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it soon. You can thank me later.)
Anyways, there’s a scene where Ben Stiller (playing the Rabbi) is meeting a woman he’s been set up with and she says these things to him:
“I think you will find Rabbi Schramm, that this princess is no pushover… I am many things, no one thing defines me.”
Now, even though her character is a little bit of a wacko, I have always loved those lines! I think a lot can be said about a person who realizes and owns the fact that they are many things, that no One Thing defines them.
I don’t think I have never been a pushover. Maybe a princess? A little bit, maybe. I do have a habit of being very straightforward with people. Blunt, even. And as you can imagine this can often be considered rude, and I eventually gained the reputation of being a ‘bitch’. Sometimes in a chummy, “girl you’re a badass bitch!” kind of way. But sometimes in a “man, that girl is a straight up bitch” kind of way… And for whatever reason, I let myself carry this label for a long time. I thought “Well I guess this is who I am. I’d better own it.”
But then when I began to dislike that label, when I tried to be gentler, more friendly with people, some accused me of being ‘fake’. Apparently, when I began to grow as a person, some of my acquaintances didn’t like that I outgrew the box they had put me in.
When I began to grow, some people didn’t like that I outgrew the box they had put me in. Click To Tweet
It wasn’t easy being misunderstood, it never is. But ultimately I knew who I was and that I was going to be OK, no matter what people said about me.
Lately, it seems like the whole world, Americans especially, are caught up entirely too much in labels. Democrat / Republican. Tomboy / Girly Girl. Passive / Assertive. Christian / Muslim.
Perhaps one of these labels does apply to you – but I bet that’s not ALL you are.
Sometimes, maybe without even realizing it, people are going to try to fit you under a label, into a box. But what you should understand is that the label, the box, it’s their for them. So they can try to make sense of the complicated, beautiful combination of things that is YOU. And just because they call you a “bitch” or a “princess”, doesn’t mean that you can’t be anything else that you want to be.
So, yeah. People are going to try to define you. Whatever. Let them. In the end, their definition doesn’t really matter – it’s how you define yourself that does.
In the end, the way other people define you doesn’t matter-it’s how you define yourself that does. Click To Tweet
Are you putting yourself in a box? Have you defined yourself in One way? If so, step outside. I’m sure you’ll find a lot of freedom in the knowledge that no One Thing defines you.
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Thank you for the follow and it is nice to meet you. I look forward to reading more of your blogposts.
Oh and thank you, Eugenia! I look forward to reading more of yours as well! 🙂 It’s nice to feel like I’m meeting people and figuring things out here. I’m pretty new, as you can obviously tell!
I REALLY LOVE THIS!!! At anytime in your life this is great to read but especially in today’s world.
Aw thank you! 🙂 That is a wonderful compliment. Thank you for taking the time to read it and let me know what you think!!!
I love this. I saw that movie. Great line. And yes, we American do tend to label and I hate it!!!
You are so right. I remember when I was a kid how people thought I was a ding bat as was popular to call someone they thought had an empty head. OOOh I was called some of the same things you were, but this was the worst. I didn’t realize then that people hadn’t taken the time to get to know me and find out there was more there than meets the eye. One day, someone said, “you really are smart!”
I don’t know that I would go that far, but yes, there’s more to me than your opinion of me. I was put in a box and behaved accordingly and there were so many hidden things that contributed to this superficiality and when I realized it, I too had to emerge and be who I really am. I’m not the smartest person in the world, but my voice does count. Lovely post.
Oh that’s a lovely way to say it – “there’s more to me than your opinion of me”!
I feel like our obsession with labeling people is really getting in the way of understanding ourselves and each other. I hope that little by little we can realize that and start to turn things around.
And it’s wonderful to know that I’m not the only one who feels that way 🙂
Thank you, as always, for reading and commenting 🙂
I love the thought that you put into this post and I can absolutely relate. The movie I have not seen but I’ll have to look for it on prime.
It’s a good movie for sure. But the idea is the most important. 🙂
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Just had this conversation with three of my friends. We are all in our 50’s now. We are at the point in our life that we are who we are, if you don’t like it go away. We don’t care. We aren’t mean at all just not changing for anyone.
I love it – you shouldn’t have to change for anyone! I’m glad people are having conversations and thinking about this kind of thing. It’s important 🙂
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Amen! Going to share this one a FEW times… this is a much needed discussion in today’s age! Kudos!
Oh thank you so much! That really means a lot.
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Your so very right! Especially in the current heat of American Politics we cannot afford to define ourselves into a box. We have to expand our notions about who we are so that we can all find commonalities and connections. Great Post
I couldn’t agree more – we can’t afford to define ourselves in such limited ways with the current political atmosphere.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
I am misunderstood by my family. They use certain adjectives to describe me that are inaccurate. It can be frustrating, but I know who I am, and that’s all that matters.
I’m so sorry to hear that your family has made it so difficult for you – I imagine that’s really frustrating.
But stay strong in knowing who you are – that really is the most important thing at the end of the day.
Thank you so much or taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
I can be blunt too. My sister says I criticize her but I am just being honest, she just doesn’t like what I have to say. Recently I said something like “when you’re older like you” and she got offended. The woman is 72 yr old–that’s older!
lol. It can be rough sometimes to speak your mind, but it’s even more exhausting to tip-toe around people and sugar coat things for them.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
Wow! This resonates with me so much. For years I have always cared what people think of me, and I am trying to work on it, but this has inspired me to keep rising above it all. I am so glad I found your blog, I look forward to your future posts 🙂
Oh my gosh, that makes me feel so nice! I’m so glad that this was inspiring for you! I truly appreciate you taking the time to read it and for letting me know how it made you feel 🙂
i’m in total agreement, not ONE thing defines who or what we are AND keeping the faith was a great flick (:
Wasn’t it such a good movie?! I’m glad someone else has seen it! lol.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
I love this so much!!! You are so right and I feel this so often. I am not defined by just one thing. I am many things and I don’t like being put in a box by other people.
Absolutely – we are many things, Anne! Don’t be boxed in!
I’m so glad you stopped by to read and comment 🙂